Epilogue

Epilogue

If she was still the old Sue, she would have said this was the worst day of her life. She would have gone into that courtroom with her shoulders hunched defensively, tears welling up in her eyes, her hair down to cover her face so that the other four could not look at her, and so that she would not have to look at them.

But that was not who she was anymore. She walked in and sat on that witness stand, hair in a ponytail and her head held up as she placed her hand on a bible and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and but the truth. And that was exactly what she did.

She told the court everything that had happened that led to the death of her English teacher, Mr. Griffin. Mark's planning, the kidnapping, her and David finding him dead, and all that happened after.

Her eyes met everyone's in that courtroom. The judge, the twelve jurors, her parents and her three little brothers, Craig, Francis, and Alex seated in the audience, dressed in their best church clothes, looking handsome as ever. Then their was the parents of those other four. Mrs. Ruggles, Mr. and Mrs. Cline, and Mr. and Mrs. Bridges, even Mark's aunt and uncle, sitting amongst all her neighbors. Her mother and father looked back at her with pride on their faces, pride in their little girl standing in front of the whole world to tell the whole sordid tale, while all the other townspeople looked at her with nothing but disdain and revulsion. Susan knew that she would always be looked at in this way now.

Of course, the hardest people for her to face were those four, sitting just across from her. Jeff, Betsy Cline, David Ruggles, and Mark, all four sitting from behind a table beside their high-priced defense attorney that Mr. and Mrs. Cline had been more than willing to pay every penny for.

Jeff and Betsy glared up at her with that same hatred they had always felt for her, only now it was worse, because now Sue was getting them locked a way, probably for life. David had just hung his head with a look of gloom, like he knew that his life was now officially ruined. At one point, when Sue was able to actually look towards those four, David met her gaze, and a small smile came across his lips, saying that he knew she was doing the right thing and there was no hate in his heart, while Mark had neither sorrow nor hate in his face. He merely looked up at Sue the whole time she was on the stand, his hands folded across the table's surface, and his eyes half-closed with that look of carefree laziness, but Sue knew all too well what that look meant, and it sent shivers right through her spine.

The one person Sue was actually grateful not to have seen was Kathy Griffin, Mr. Griffin's wife. Sue looked, but she wasn't anywhere amongst the throng of people. This gave a bit of relief. As grateful as Sue was to Mrs. Griffin for saving her from the fire Mark had tried to kill her in, she wasn't so sure she could face that woman in her current position.

After her testimony, she was excused from the court. Sue's family sat with her on the bench outside the courtroom for another hour until court was adjourned and the people came pouring through the doors. Several of those from the audience still gave her those cold looks from before, glaring at her and whispering as they left.

"Are you okay?" her mother had asked, wrapping her arm around Susan's back and rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.

Sue looked down at her shoes and picked her nails. "I'm fine." she answered. Her voice came out meeker than she meant it too, making her sound more sad than she felt.

How did she feel? Was she okay? That made her seem insensitive, which she was not. Happy? That made her seem heartless. Sad? Possibly. Worried? That was probably the closest to what she was feeling. Worried about their sentencing, especially David. But most of all, Mark. Sue wasn't afraid he would get a harsh sentence. What she feared the most was that, somehow, he would be released.

"I'm fine." Sue reiterated in a sigh, her voice so low only she herself could hear.

"Everything will be okay." her father told her reassuringly, pulling her into a tight one-armed hug. "Now let's go home." he said as he and Susan's brothers stood. Susan, however, stayed seated, picking her nails and staring vacantly down at her feet and the smooth white marble floors beneath them. She just could not find the energy to get up from where she was. It was like all the life in her that had been slowly draining out of her had finally all dried out.

"Come on honey," her mother spoke, squeezing Sue's hand. Her mother's hand felt so much warmer than her own. "It's over now. It's time to go home."

Sue nodded in a gesture of agreement and stood on her feet, then joined her mother, her father, and her younger brothers to their car.



One week later, Susan had spent another day alone in her home. She awoke in her bed from another night of heavy sleep, filled with visions of blue eyes and gripping hands and binding chords and roaring flames, some time after eleven in the morning to the bright sun pouring in through her window. Her father was at work, her mother was out running errands, and her brothers left for summer camp three days before.

It was actually nice for her to wake up to a quiet, vacant house. After all she had gone through recently, she appreciated the peace that the silence her house contained.

Sue crawled out of bed and slid her glasses on her face before she walked down the hall to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After her mouth was cleaned out, she was halfway back down the hall when the front doorbell rang.

She stood at the top of the stairs, looking down the steps into the living room below, the room that had become the one room in the house she could never be in alone. Every time she was down there and looked at the walls, she could still see the cracks and the faint shadows of charred drywall under the fresh coat of paint that had been applied to cover it. Her wrists would ache from the memory of the chords that had been tied around them. Often, she could even still smell the smoke. She knew that this was an irrational fear, that it wouldn't happen again, but still, she just could not bring herself to go down there, alone and defenseless.

The doorbell rang again, louder and more urgent. Sue took a deep breath through her nose and out her mouth, and she lowered her bare foot down the first step. No problem. The next step creaked under her foot. Another step, then another, and another, and another. Her foot hovered over the landing, when impulsively she looked into the living room. Her mother had cleaned just the night before, so the place had a fresh shine to it. Her eyes drifted to the ceiling. She could still see the cracks that her parents tried to cover with coats of white paint. The smell of smoke flooded her nostrils. Her skin heated from the memory of flames. She did not want to be there.

She was about to turn tail and dash right back up to her room where she could hide under the safety of her blankets. This plan was interrupted by the persistent pair of 'ding-dongs' of the doorbell followed by a series of raps on the door. "Hello?" came a female voice from the other side, "Is there anybody home?"

The voice was so familiar. "No," Sue whispered under her breath, "It couldn't be."

Sue crept up to the front door, her gaze still focusing on the shadows of the cracks in the edge of her vision. Her fingers turned the padlock and she pulled the door open just a crack, poking an eye through to see outside.

"Hello Susan." the woman said with a smile, gently bouncing the infant cradled in her arms.

"Hi Mrs. Griffin." Sue replied meekly from behind the door.

"May I come in?" Kathy asked.

"S-sure." Sue opened the door and stood aside, allowing Kathy Griffin enough room to step inside.

"Thank you." Kathy said as she entered. Sue pushed the door back shut and led Mrs. Griffin to the living room.

"Do you want some coffee or something Mrs. Griffin?" Sue asked, rubbing her forearm awkwardly, "I think there's still some left."

"No, that's fine Susan." Kathy answered as she took a seat in one of the recliner. But Sue did not seem to hear her, as she had already got into the kitchen and poured what remained in the pot into a mug.

"It's fine Susan, really," Mrs. Griffin said when Sue walked into the living room, the mug clasped between her hands, "Please, sit down."

"Okay." Sue set the mug down on the coffee table on top of the scattered pages of newspaper and sat on the edge of the sofa, her hands rubbing her knees nervously. "My parents aren't here," she said, "My dad's at work and my mom won't be back until later, if you're looking for them."

"That's alright. It's actually you I came to see anyway." Kathy said as she shifted the gurgling infant from one arm to the other.

"Oh." Sue replied. Her eyes drifted down to the baby boy in Kathy Griffin's arms. That's her and Mr. Griffin's child, Sue regarded dismally. The boy was dressed in red and blue overalls and tennis shoes that looked like they ought to be worn by a doll. He had a head of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes that wandered all about, taking in his new surrounding while he absently sucked on his fist. The last time Sue saw eyes like his, they were cold and vacant, like blue marbles.

"Oh, this is Brian Junior." Mrs. Griffin said when she noticed Sue's eyes on the child.

"He looks..." Sue started to say, but finished with, "he looks adorable." She wanted to say "he looks so much like Mr. Griffin" but she couldn't bring herself to it. Why did she have to bring him here? Sue wondered, Is she doing this as some kind of extra punishment?

"Thank you." Kathy Griffin said, smiling down at her child. She then looked up at Sue, her expression changing into a more concerning look. "I heard you went to court last week." she said.

Sue nodded slightly, saying that yes, it was true. Sue kept her head ducked down, avoiding having to meet Kathy Griffin's eyes. A couple stray strands of hair fell over her eyes.

"My neighbor Rose told me she heard about it on the news. They said you testified to everything, that you told everybody what had happened."

Sue nodded again, still not raising her eyes.

"Did you hear about the others' sentencing?" Kathy further inquired. Sue shook her head 'no'.

"Jeff, Betsy, and David are facing manslaughter and second-degree murder," Kathy continued, "David may or may not be able to get a reduced sentence. Mark Kinney has been placed in a psychiatric facility until they're done evaluating his case, but it looks like that's where he'll be staying for a long, long time."Sue wanted to sigh with relief, but didn't. She didn't allow herself to react at all. She just wanted this woman to leave so Sue could go on with her life, or at least what was left of it.

"What about you?" Mrs. Griffin asked, "How have you been doing?"

Sue answered with a shrug of her shoulders. "Fine." she mumbled. As her eyes remained downward, she saw Mrs. Griffin's hand being placed on her knee.

"I know this hasn't been easy," Sue heard her say, "I can't imagine what you must be feeling, but you can't go on blaming yourself for what happened to Brian. Mark would have come up with a way to do what he did with or without you. It wasn't your fault."

Sue absorbed Mrs. Griffin's words, though she still didn't fully accept them. Mr. Griffin, Susan's english teacher, Kathy Griffin's husband and Brian Junior's father, was dead, four other students are in prison, and there was nothing that could change all that. Sue could feel the sensation of tears welling up behind her eyes, but they were unable to come to the surface.

Kathy's fingers brought Susan's head up, allowing their eyes to meet. She pushed the stray hair's out of the girl's face. Little Brian Jr. started cooing in his mother's arm. He was looking up at Sue with his blue eyes opened wide and curious.

"Would you like to hold him?" Kathy asked.

Sue merely shrugged again. "Sure." she answered in a sigh.

Kathy held her baby in her hands and extended her arms, offering him to her. Sue took the child, holding him under the pits of his arms so that he was suspended above her legs. He continued to stare at her with his round, bright blue eyes, his dribbling lips smacking together and his feet kicking against her knees. His little hands reached forward, touching his fingers against the lenses of Susan's glasses. His fingers grasped at the frames and her glasses slid off her nose. For the first time in she didn't know how long, Susan actually smiled.

"He likes you." Kathy giggled.

Sue then caught herself in a giggle of her own. Her arms began to grow tired of holding little Brian Junior this way, so she cradled him in her arms, bouncing him up and down slightly. Little Brian Jr. still held the frames of Susan's glasses between his tiny fingers. Susan then decided to take her glasses and put them over the child's face. The lenses magnified his eyes, making his big blue eyes seem twice as big. Just like his father.

"He looks just like his dad," Susan said with a slight smile, the words spilling out from between her lips, "You know, with the glasses and all."

Kathy laughed with Susan at this. She looked at her child with love glistening her eyes. "He really does, doesn't he?" she remarked, petting Brian Junior's soft brown hair, then straightening the glasses on his button nose. Brian Junior reached up to grasp the edges of the lenses, as if he were trying to adjust them himself.

All of a sudden, Sue looked at the scene before her in a new light, like a character in a novel reaching that crucial moment of realization. She got a feeling that, even though she couldn't change what had happened, it all didn't matter now. This child, Brian Griffin Junior, had a whole world of opportunities ahead, a chance at a life full of success and happiness. Just like Susan.

Sue's attention was diverted when she heard the front door. Stumbling inside with both her hands full of paper grocery bags was Susan's mother. The woman froze, momentarily dumbfounded by the scene in her living room.

"Oh, Sue, I didn't realize you had company," Mrs. McConnell said as she set the bags down on the dining table, "It's good to see you Mrs. Griffin."

"Hello Mrs. McConnell," Kathy Griffin greeted with a smile, "Me and Brian Junior were just dropping in to see how Susan was holding up."

Susan's mother then almost squealed in delight and rushed over to see the little infant cradled in her daughter's arms.

"He liked my glasses." Sue explained when her mother noticed that the infant was wearing Sue's glasses.

"Awwww," Mrs. McConnell cooed as she tickled the infant's chubby little cheeks, "he's just adorable."

"Thank you." Mrs. Griffin replied.

"Will you be staying for lunch Mrs. Griffin?" Susan's mother asked, "I'm making lasagna."

"Well..." Kathy looked to Sue before giving her answer. Sue gave her a slight smile. "I'd love to." answered Mrs. Griffin.

"Wonderful," said Mrs. McConnell, "Sue, why don't you go out to the car and get the rest of the bags?"

"Alright Mom."

Sue put her glasses back over her own eyes before handing Brian Junior back to his mother and she went out to the car to bring the last couple bags into the house. Inside, Mrs. McConnell was opening the cans of tomato sauce and chatting congenially with Mrs. Griffin.

As Sue removed the cartons of eggs from one of the bags, her eyes drifted to the living room ceiling, looking over the smooth white paint. She inhaled deeply through her nose and blew out through her lips. The room smelled like Lemon Pledge.